Many couples gain unnecessary weight when they become comfortable in love. Not only the newly weds but the couples in serious relationships. Why do men and women get into their best shape before their wedding and after a break up? Why does it mean that you have to be single to respect and appreciate your body? Who says you have to add on weight after marriage? Just because society tells us so, we see our mothers, aunts and friends “letting go” a term others use, “I lost myself” etc, once they are “comfortable,” ask yourself what does this even mean? Loving someone else, and making room for love in your life doesn’t have to mean YOU STOP LOVING YOURSELF. These concepts blow my mind. Subconscious brainwashing without you even being aware of the subtle hints everywhere. From where I’m standing I see so many women who give up on themselves and sacrifice themselves to be a wife, a partner, a mother and a member of her a community. When you are giving so much to everyone, why are you not giving yourself just a little bit more?
It’s never too late to make a change. I’m asking these questions so we can all think about the role FOOD andMOVEMENT have in your life, as a FEMALE, especially after MARRIAGE.
How Do We Understand This Better?
Post Traumatic Stress lol
I’ve seen it before, the drama and wedding trauma from the big day. It’s just one day. The stress and build up of one day is insignificant when we need to focus on the bigger picture. I always focus on the bigger picture, the longevity, anything I put my attention to. So for me personally, one day (wedding day) will come and it will be spectacular and magical, and then it will go. This is something that applies to any big event, occasion and something that might be a big deal to you at the time.
Post wedding trauma almost always results in a big CRASH. Lol. Again, I’m using a wedding as an example, it could be your Matric ball or your 40? When you crash, you will need to recover, your immune system may be down, your routine is thrown out, you need to re adjust and settle. These are things that many women and girls don’t have the luxury of time in 2020 is something we cannot create, life is moving and we need to keep moving. Which means our stress levels spike and cortisol goes up. Our bodies will hold weight due to hormones created by stress levels.
I call it Victory Eating / Celebratory Eating – because it’s a lot more self destructive than EMOTIONAL EATING. Because you’re happy now, right? I mean you’re married, you got your man, life can begin. With many things in this modern day world, we celebrate our birthday, achievements and holidays with over indulgent food. Why not do the same now? We MUST eat. Because on a subconscious level we have achieved something great! This is bull shit. Another way society has brainwashed you. How many goals and deadlines and deals and projects have you closed so far this year? In a goal driven society we are bound to kick back and celebrate with friends over food and drink. My friends, the food and drinks have become more and more indulgent as people learn how to create more poisonous versions of fake food for you to consume and Victory Eat.
Your kitchen Your life
The best thing you can do for yourself as a wife, a partner and a leader, is to control your kitchen. Plan your meals and shop accordingly. If it isn’t your kitchen you can still control your eating. When I lived with my folks I shopped for myself and always made my own food, because I had goals for myself and changed my lifestyle. We all need to respect each other, and that’s okay. Your husband / boyfriend / fiancé will have different goals to you. Men cannot live on a female “diet” and a woman cannot eat like a man. This is one of the factors contributing to female weight gain. Of course when eating out the portions are all the same, and on a hungry day I’m not ashamed to say I’ve finished my meal. BUT, always remember that your partner will always eat double if not more than what you should, and that’s okay for them. I’m not saying half your meals, everyone’s goals are different. I like to pack on protein and avoid starch some of the time. Keep in mind I’m eating plenty of protein throughout the day. I’ll enjoy healthy carbs when my body tells me to, it should be no problem. When cooking at home always include a starch for your partner. You don’t HAVE to eat everything you make. Enjoy some green vegetables instead.
I’m not advocating a life of salads, if any of you follow my eating on Snapchat or Insta Stories, you will see I’m eating ALL DAY. Veggies are my friends and I know for a fact I’m eating more meals than my husband does. Less in one sitting and different macros.
Husbands Breakfast: Oat So Easy pre training am and 3 whole eggs, mayo, 2 slices of toast
Rushda’s Breakfast: Hulk Juice or 8 Egg whites, 1t lite mayo and Bulletproof coffee
Respecting each other’s training schedule is essential. Don’t sabotage your partner by preventing them from having necessary sleep before an early am training session. When you love someone you should want the best for them. You should create an environment that is supportive enough for them to flourish and achieve their goals. This is why in my opinion, when you’re married, it’s the perfect time to fly. Even though you and your partner are eating differently and training differently, support structure for each other will make or break your healthy lifestyle. You don’t always have togo to train together, run together and go to the gym together. There can be a balance of independence.
- Don’t eat a male portion
- Don’t eat a male MACROS
- Cook your own food
- Pile on the green vegetables
- Keep MOST meals CLEAN, 80/20 rule
- Don’t eat ALL your food when eating out
- Choose the Protein + Veg opt when eating out
- Don’t celebrate everything as a couple around TREATS and FOOD
- Eat before family functions if there is nothing healthy to eat
- Take your own food with if you have to
- Start healthy habits together throughout the day, for eg start juicing. make smoothies, enjoy herbal teas and don’t getinto the habit of eating snacks before bedtime
- Exercise together
- Allow each other to enjoy their own physical activities
- Buy lingerie
- Cook in heels and explore your confidence
- Get healthy take out
- Book a beach vacation
- Support each other but never POLICE each other
I hope this article helped. I could go into so much more detail so if you have any questions, leave them in the comments section below.
Yours in Health and Fitness